Sum Times: Numbering the Days

Teach us, O Lord, to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12

On December 31st, I read back through the pages of 2011- the days and the moments,  the thoughts and the prayers I had penned. There were things I had already forgotten, and was glad I had a chance to visit there again. Not that some of those things were anything super- spectacular, but maybe that's just it. If they had been super-spectacular, I probably would not have forgotten. At least not for a while. But I am prone to forget.

I want to remember.

All throughout my life, I have tried at different times to keep a journal. It has never lasted long. I've been  plagued with  indecision - what I should or shouldn't write. How often? Everything in one place or separated topically? My thoughts and feelings or just the facts? Prayers--specific or general? What if someone should read this? What if no one ever does? What does it matter? I would become frustrated at my random attempts to record whatever it was I thought I should be recording at the time, and always ended up giving up. Those pages are gone forever.

Nearly two years ago now, I was again overcome with a strong desire to record this "stuff"--how and what I didn't know, just that I needed to be putting "it" down in some fashion. I began to look on the internet for ideas, and found this.   I clicked and trailed through every link; I loved what I saw and had fresh vision. And so, in late February of 2010, I began to journal. A little bit of everything. The facts. My thoughts and feelings. Some prayers. Some dreams and ideas. It's not organized into topics and I don't have a regular time or day for this recording. When I look back through the pages, there are strings of days all put together, and then there are big gaps of time, even whole seasons, gone missing.  Still, this is the longest I have kept up a "habit" of journaling.

I pull out the magazines I have saved appropriate for the season, and I find my favorites. Big open windows, wildflowers and birds, bright orange leaves and sun-drenched wooden floors, antique furniture and crammed bookshelves and quiet bedrooms. I tear them out, glue them to the page. Now, the page is inviting me in.  I often sit with a cup of strong coffee or Bengal Spice Tea, and begin to share my day or my thoughts or my ideas. It is still a work in progress.  I have decided it would be nice to have a calendar spread, squares to write a note for the day when I haven't the time to sit and write long. A place to record an appointment, an unexpected phone call, the first robin's return in the spring.  At times, this has worked well, and other times not, but I like the added flexibility it brings and so I am including it in my journal pages again this year.

And because I am learning to keep my eyes open to all the graces, the gifts of this life,  I also try to keep a gratitude journal. I was fairly diligent when I had tried to name 1000 gifts, but once I did, it sort of fell by the way. I have recommitted myself to thanksgiving, naming 1000 gifts again this year,  but am rethinking how to record it in such I way that I will do it with more consistancy.

And a nature journal. I've never kept one, but in recent years have thought I would like to. Beauty is all around us out here. It is the quiet backdrop to our days. I have snapped many frames of the ever-changing strokes of color in the sky, the cheerful petals of flowers, the golden grasses blowing.  This year, from my mom, I received just such a journal for my birthday.

The pages have quotes and sketches of nature, and spaces for your own sketches, written entry, or photos.

This, it makes one slow the pace to look. Amazing. Worth numbering.

And so this new year, it brings all these moments brand new, and my thoughts are all about capturing them. Remembering them. Living them.

Proclaiming them.

One generation shall praise Your works to another,...They shall utter the memory

 of Your great goodness.    Psalm 145:4,7